4. You hate every movie you see
Not only do you hate most movies, but you hate them intensely, as if the movies themselves killed your father. George Lucas didn’t personally create the character of Jar-Jar Binks specifically to ruin your childhood, you know. Sometimes, when you rage, you look like The Hulk with a beret.
5. You Went To Film School
That’s not anyone’s fault but your own. Don’t take it out on us.
6. You have a 10,000 word blog piece about Synecdoche, New York
Is it really that good a movie? Isn’t Synecdoche, New York just a fascinating failure that proves Michel Gondry should direct every Charlie Kaufman movie? Don’t have an aneurysm, this is just an opinion. Opinions are disposable, like potato chips.